Self Portrait Challenge



This was the second session of a self-portrait challenge set by my mentor, Jonny Edward. The weather was warm, so I decided to set up a little outdoor studio in my back garden and see what happened. I wasn't aiming for conventional portraits. I wanted to experiment to see if I could make my own version of Jonny's inspiring portraits. The first session was difficult, but I really wanted to continue, and I'm actually enjoying it. To create as both the photographer and the subject is a strange position to be in. When you're behind the camera, you're in control. When you're in front of it, suddenly you're much more aware of yourself. But the funny thing about self-portraiture is that you're completely alone. Nobody is watching. Nobody is judging. You can be as playful, awkward or experimental as you like. And if you don't like the photograph, delete it. So why can it still feel uncomfortable? Perhaps because even when nobody else is there, we can still judge ourselves.


Black and white portrait of a woman in a long dark coat standing beside a wooden crate.
Black and white photo of a woman in a dark coat tossing a hat into the air against a textured background.
Black and white portrait of a woman in a dark oversized coat standing on a wooden crate against a textured wall.

my grandchildren never questioned me


They were already playing in the garden while I was setting everything up. I thought they might think Bobo had gone slightly mad. But there was no questioning it. No 'What are you doing'? No 'Why are you doing that?' I've been photographing them since they were born, so it's not unusual for them. And then they wanted to have a go. What struck me was how naturally it happened. There was no hesitation about how to stand or what to do. No worrying about whether a pose looked silly. Just movement, laughter and play. And I found myself thinking:


We aren't born self-conscious. We learn it


At some point, we start thinking about how we look. We learn to compare ourselves. We learn to worry about what other people might think. And eventually, even when we're completely alone, we can still hear that little voice asking, 'Does this look ridiculous?' I didn't have to worry that day. I knew the children were there, but I also knew they wouldn't judge me. So I just got on with it. And perhaps that's what made the whole experience work.

Black and white portrait of a woman in oversized black coat standing with one foot on a wooden crate.
Black and white photo of a woman in an oversized dark coat standing on a wooden crate against a textured backdrop.
Black and white portrait of a woman in a long dark coat standing on a wooden crate against a textured wall.

And then there's the box



I started wondering about the box I used. I needed it to stand on, but I hadn't placed it there thinking it meant anything. In some photographs I'm firmly standing on it. In others I'm balancing, reaching or stepping away from it. A platform? A comfort zone? Something solid to stand on while trying something new? Or perhaps it's just a box!

Black and white photo of a person in a dark oversized coat stepping off a wooden crate, looking upward.
Black and white portrait of a woman in a long black coat posing confidently beside a wooden crate.
Black and white portrait of a person in a dark oversized coat standing on a wooden box against a textured background.

How we see ourselves



That's probably what I've enjoyed most about this challenge. I started out simply wanting to make some interesting photographs. Instead, it has made me think about how we see ourselves. About the things we learn. About judgement. About trying something new. And about how easily children can remind us of something we've forgotten. Perhaps self-portraiture isn't about learning how to pose in front of a camera. Perhaps it's about giving yourself permission to stop worrying about how you're supposed to look. And just play.

Black and white photo of a joyful young girl jumping mid-air with hair flying, wearing a white t-shirt and denim shorts.
Black and white photo of a young girl with long hair looking up at camera, wearing a white graphic t-shirt.
Black and white photo of an excited young child jumping with arms raised, wearing a white shirt and leopard print shorts.