Woman in plaid dress with tattoo sits in wooden chair, wearing black earrings, against mauve background.

 

Old Lady!? Rude!

 

I spent an afternoon taking self-portraits.


I should probably say straight away that these weren't taken for personal branding. I wasn't trying to create a new profile picture or photographs for my website. They were a creative exercise, set by my mentor Jonny Edward as part of his self-portrait challenge. And when I say self-portraits, I don't mean taking a selfie on my phone.


I experimented with movement, distortion, different poses and different ways of seeing myself in front of the camera. Some worked. Some really didn't.


It was hot, it was strenuous work, and by the end of the afternoon I'd taken a lot of photographs.


So perhaps it wasn't surprising that I dreamt about them that night. In the dream, someone was writing notes about me. I don't remember everything they'd written, but I remember the last thing very clearly:


'Old lady'!


I woke up thinking about it. It bothered me. Is that how people see me? Or am I putting that label on myself?  I'm sixty-one, and I don't want to be defined by it.

Woman in plaid dress seated on wooden chair, hand raised to head, wearing black earrings, against pink background.
Blonde woman in black pinstripe blazer poses dramatically, hand on neck, looking upward against dark background.
Blonde woman in pinstripe blazer rests chin on hand, gazing upward thoughtfully while seated at a table.
Blonde woman in black pinstripe blazer with head tilted back, eyes closed, hand on throat, dark background.
Woman in plaid dress seated in wooden chair, posing thoughtfully against a mauve studio background.
Blonde woman in striped off-shoulder top with tassel earrings and tattoos poses in profile against pink background.
Woman in plaid dress seated on wooden chair, wearing black tassel earrings, with tattoos visible, posed against neutral background.
Blonde woman in off-shoulder pinstripe blazer with hair blowing across face, artistic motion blur portrait.

See the Person


There's something difficult about seeing yourself in photographs, especially as you get older. You notice things — the jawline, the jowls. Things you might not pay attention to daily suddenly seem much more obvious.


Some of my photographs were hard to look at. But I also loved quite a few too.


I think we all make assumptions about age, including me. I'll meet someone I think is much older than me and then discover they're actually younger. It makes me realise how quickly we make judgements based on how someone looks. My advice: Don't look at anyone and see an age. See the person.


I have my photograph taken at least twice every year, but this self-portrait exercise was different because I had the time and freedom to experiment with ideas, thoughts and feelings.


If you're someone who feels uncomfortable in front of the camera, I'd love to help you feel more at ease and create photographs you'll be happy to see.


And finally, a small thing that made me laugh: the automatic alt text on this page of my self-portraits hasn't described me as an 'old woman' once. Get in!

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